It would be nice if humans enjoyed eternal life so that we could date and mate at our leisure, but at some point, we have to become realistic about the kind of boys that are right for us. Emphasize that preparing themselves ahead of time to be with peers, and reviewing their past successes and failures, is a good habit to establish.In a world with so many boys and so little time, you, unfortunately, cannot date as many as you would like. Even television programs may offer a forum to discuss behaviors and attitudes considered socially mature at their age.
If not, perhaps a guidance counselor can lend a hand. Offer the pointers above but try to line up a respected older sibling or cousin, if available.
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Offer concrete ways for them to learn how to become more socially mature. Explain that kids their age not only notice them, but they also catalog them, and spread gossip about such behaviors far and wide! Point out that the more these behaviors come out at home the more they are likely to at school or other times when peers are around. Delineate the subtle and not-so-subtle ways these themes emerge and challenge their view that peers don't notice these behaviors. Now is the time to speak to them about "attention-seeking missions", the "never feeling satisfied syndrome," or some similar behavior theme that often pops out and makes peers shake their heads with disdain. Emphasize how silly clowning often backfires.Įxplain that certain "immaturity themes" are repeated in various situations. Stress how compliments, following up on details they have been told before, and thinking about what they should say before they say it are good rules of thumb. Point out the advantages of being a good listener and the importance of not abruptly changing subjects. By becoming a better social observer and paying careful attention to more mature peers they can figure out how to move their maturity forward. Review their encounters with peers and offer them ways to feel a greater sense of belonging. Provide examples that you recall and praise them for their willingness to self-reflect. Once you've succeeded in establishing a safe dialogue see how much they recognize their immaturity. Test their capacity for observation and social learning.
But unlike height, they can work on learning how to catch up. Being socially immature, just like being short for their age, is not their fault. Explain that social maturity is measured by how well a person fits into the actions and expectations of their peer group. It also embodies a sense that these problems are time-limited, and that with help and determination these troubles can fade. Peers may have already used far worse words such as "annoying, pathetic, obnoxious, or weird" so this label provides a way for your child to begin to understand what others are referring to. Here are some tips for helping immature teenagers with social maturity:ĭon't be afraid to gently use the words " social immaturity" when describing the behavior. While many factors contribute to social maturity, immaturity can be addressed and upgraded if parents come prepared with tact, sensitivity, and solid coaching advice. Parenting Tips for Teaching Social Maturity to Immature Teenagers This may make it hard for us to use objectivity in responding to the child who can't find a place within the middle school maze. To varying degrees, most of us remember the sting of peer rejection from our own childhoods and the hurt and confusion it produced.
Thus, the child who emotionally lags behind is placed in a puzzling position how to fit into a social network with implicit rules and expectations that others understand and they don't? Those chronological peers that remind them of their earlier immature selves are likely to be ridiculed and/or rejected. Many kids embrace the entrance into the fascinating cultural and social world that sets them apart from adults and makes them a part of teenage life. Due to wide developmental discrepancies in early adolescence, middle school presents a melting pot of social maturity levels. One of the most worrisome aspects of parenting is when our child has trouble navigating a comfortable place among peers. Any ideas on what we can do to help her become more socially mature?" My husband and I think she is clueless and too hungry for attention. In the company of peers, she will sabotage her efforts by acting immature or offering comments that don't make sense.
Does your teenager act immature? Parenting tips for helping immature teenagers with social maturity.Ī parent writes, "Our middle school daughter seems out of step with her peer group.